


Youthful Indiscretions

by astudyinfic



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Backstory, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22162459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: Finn almost hates to ask, not sure he wants to know.  But the question leaves his mouth before he can think better of it."Were youreallya spice runner?"
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 14
Kudos: 163





	Youthful Indiscretions

Even after they’d finally defeated the Sith and were granted peace, quiet moments were few and far between. Rebuilding the galaxy was difficult work and it fell on Poe and Finn’s shoulders to do the diplomatic part. Rey had taken it upon herself to go out in search of others with enough Force sensitivity that she could begin training a new generation of Jedi. If they were going to keep the dark side in check, they needed more than one Jedi and a couple of generals who were more sensitive than most.

Finn could sense disturbances from great distances, particularly those involving the people he cared about and Poe could fly anything with a sort of preternatural competence. Neither was strong enough in the Force to undergo the type of training Rey had in mind, however. So she went out searching and counted on Finn to know if she needed help and on Poe to get them there in time.

But even with everything resting on them, they could still find a few moments now and then to carve out some time for themselves. Particularly when they had to return to Ajan Kloss, the moon that they’d mostly abandoned to set up the new Republic in a more central part of the galaxy.

Now it was mostly empty, only a few essential personnel staying behind, a welcoming committee for any new recruits who might come here first. It made for a nice respite from the hustle and bustle of the new capital and Finn and Poe often climbed onto the roof at night to enjoy the stars and remember everything they were fighting for.

Down below, a few people still moved about, including one Finn recognized from the chaotic days before the final battle. Zorii, Poe’s friend from the spice runners. Someone who was once more than a friend? Finn wasn’t sure and hadn’t asked. He had Poe’s heart now and forevermore and that was all Finn needed to know.

Though, it did bring up a question that had been eating at him since that fateful night on Kijimi. “So,” he said slowly, trying to figure out how to word it so it didn’t sound like an accusation. “You were once a spice runner? That...doesn’t seem to fit your personality.” Attempting for casual curiosity, Finn probably missed it by a parsec but it was out there now. Nothing he could do about that.

Poe chuckled, his eyes still on the sky above. “I wondered if that would come up sometime. I didn’t really have a chance to explain back then, did I?”

“No, we were a little busy trying to save the galaxy.”

Taking Finn’s hand in his own, Poe nodded. “And we did that. So I suppose you deserve the real story.”

* * *

_At sixteen, Poe thought he knew everything. He could fly better than anyone he knew, despite having not been allowed to go to the Academy as he wanted. He knew right from wrong and could see problems right there on Yavin 4 that no one was doing anything about. Poe wanted to change the world and then the galaxy. Instead, he was grounded, forbidden from going out and joining up, the one thing in the universe he wanted more than anything else. At least anything else he could actually have._

_“I already lost your mother. I can’t lose you too,” his father told him and while Poe understood that, he also hated that he was being forced to stay out of a fight he knew he could help win. He knew it, but his father wouldn’t listen. “The fanciful thoughts of a child. Focus on your other studies and when you are old enough, then we will talk.”_

_Poe didn’t think the day of that talk was ever going to arrive._

_And he didn’t want to wait any longer for something that might never come._

_Without much thought as to how he would accomplish what he wanted to do, Poe disappeared one night, borrowing one of his family’s ships. His father rarely left Yavin 4 anymore, he wouldn’t miss it. Or so Poe told himself as he left the atmosphere and hit hyperdrive, taking him as far from Outer Rim as he could get._

_With the name Dameron, he couldn’t choose one of the more respectable routes of service. It would get back to his father in no time and that would be the last time he ever left world, Poe was certain. No, he needed to go undercover. Needed to do something no one would expect of Kes and Shara’s son._

_Showing up with a stolen ship on Kijimi was like showing up with a job offer in hand. Several of the different spice rings wanted him but he picked the biggest, the one he’d heard of. The one he knew was involved with the trade on some of the outer areas of Yavin 4._

_For two years, Poe ran spice around the galaxy. All the while, sending messages to whoever he thought might be able to help. The people in charge of the ring couldn’t figure out how they kept losing so many shipments and they kept praising Poe as one of the few who had managed to avoid any run-ins with the authorities. He was the best they had, or at least that was what he had them believe. His shipments never quite made it where they were supposed to go but he managed to smooth talk his way out of every awkward situation with the people in charge._

* * *

Finn stared at him, mouth agape. “You seriously went and joined the spice runners so that you could spy on them? With nothing but a ship and your own brain? How did you survive with so few wits to speak of?”

“Ha ha. Look who helped save the galaxy and now fancies himself a funny man.”

“I’m hilarious and you know it.”

Poe rolled his eyes but squeezed Finn’s hand anyway. “Do you want the rest of the story or not?”

“I’m sorry, General Dameron. Please continue.” Poe heard the mocking in the words, but also the undertone of love and devotion that carried through the sarcastic quip.

He brought Finn’s hand to his mouth and kissed the inside of his wrist. “Thank you, General Dameron.”

* * *

_Life on Kijimi was hard. Far harder than life had been on Yavin 4. He’d lived a sheltered and safe life in the jungles of his homeworld, only hearing tales of adventure until he’d run away to find some of his own. There were days where he ached to return, to tell his father he was sorry and made a mistake, to leave the cold and rocky Kijimi behind._

_But he couldn’t do that. Even if no one had sent him here, Poe knew he was doing good work and he would hate for it to stop just because he missed home. It had been two years and he wasn’t about to go back with his tail between his legs now._

_“How long do you plan to keep this up?” The voice shocked him out of his thoughts of home and Poe looked over his shoulder to see Zorii staring at him. Or so he assumed. She almost never took off the helmet so it was hard to tell sometimes._

_He blinked in confusion than offered her his best smile. “What are you talking about?”_

_“I don’t know who sent you but you aren’t here to be a spice runner. I don’t know how the others haven’t figured it out yet because it’s obvious to me.”_

_How she figured it out, Poe didn’t know but his mind worked quickly to come up with an excuse, a deflection, anything. But all he could hear was static in his head, certain that his father had just been proven right and he would die here far from home doing exactly what his father told him not to do._

_“Listen, I’m not going to turn you in. You haven’t turned me in yet, so why would I do the same to you. But it might be time to go back where you came from before someone else figures it out. They won’t be as forgiving. They’ll kill you and you know it.”_

_“And, where do you think I come from?” Poe didn’t know why he was asking that question other than sheer curiosity. Surely, there were more important things to be worrying about. If his name had been what gave him away. He thought Kijimi was far enough removed from everything else that they wouldn’t have heard of his family, but perhaps he was wrong._

_Zorii shrugged. “The Resistance, I assume. Go back to them. Have them reassign you. You have enough information to bring down the whole ring if you want. Get out while you can.”_

_Not inclined to change her opinion of him, Poe nodded. “Thank you. For everything.”_

_“Go before I change my mind.”_

* * *

They both stayed silent for a few minutes until Finn asked, “So when we went to Kijimi...”

“I knew there was a good chance someone would try to kill me, yes. But everything was trying to kill us, so what did it matter. We won. That’s what matters, right?”

Finn grumbled and Poe knew he’d won that particular argument. “I still can’t believe you ran off to join the spice runners just to prove your dad wrong.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Unable (and unwilling) to stop himself, Finn reached out and slapped his husband on the back of the head. “Are you an idiot?”

“To be fair, I was sixteen. Everyone is an idiot at sixteen.”

“But not everyone runs off to join a crime syndicate to prove to their war hero father that they are adult enough to join the military.”

Poe was laughing at that point, trying to dodge Finn’s hand as his lover tried to smack him again. “Poe Dameron, you are the best pilot I know and you are a kriffing idiot. I love you but you know it’s true.”

“Hey, when I showed up at home with all sorts of evidence about some of the bigger smuggling rings, they were quite happy to see me. Not my father, of course. He seemed to share your opinion of the whole thing.” Poe had gotten up out of his chair to avoid getting hit again.

Finn was following behind him, dark eyes shining in the night. “That’s because your dad is a wise man and you are, as I said, a kriffing idiot.”

“Yes, I heard that part.”

Done with his insufferable husband, Finn dove, tackling him to the ground until they were a laughing tangle of limbs out of sight from anyone below. Finn kissed him soundly, hands in Poe’s hair to keep him from moving too far away.

“What do you say we take this inside, spice runner?”

Poe laughed and kissed Finn one more time. “Sounds good, stormtrooper. Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [tumblr](http://astudyinfic.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/astudyinfic)


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